"For Five Minutes"

While I was serving a mission for my church in Los Angeles, my depression was fairly intense. One morning in particular, I seemed to be in a strange tunnel of distortion: walking across my bedroom felt like it took all my energy out of me. I knew I needed to shower and get ready for the day, but I couldn’t even imagine lifting my feet up over the side of the tub or turning the water spigot. I felt physically drained.

In prayer, I asked, “Please, Lord, can I just feel the weight lift off of me for five minutes? Then I’ll have the strength to face what’s next.”

Immediately, a picture formed in my mind of my older sister. My sister is a vivacious, energetic person. I could almost hear her say, “Pick out an outfit, sister! Find something colorful to wear. Get showered and put it on.” I followed these instructions. For about five minutes, I felt an amazing clarity and springiness. It was like she had waved a magic wand over my head and completely dispelled the awful fog.

Although the sadness and weight did come back, I was amazed at the powerful feeling of wellbeing that lasted—as I had asked—for five minutes. In all my time with depression, I have never felt such immediate and precise relief. This moment felt like a little package of love from Jesus Christ. I felt that He knew me personally and understood my pain, and this is why He could help me in such a powerful way. He later led me to get more extensive help through medication and therapy, but I’ll never forget that He was also there with me in the worst of it.