A Noticeable Drop in the Anxiety

I once visited a friend who was very dear to me. We have been friends for a long time, and while we had ups and downs, we worked to resolve things and kept supporting each other. One day during a visit, I began to feel anxious that I wasn’t expressing myself well, even though things probably were fine. When I left, it was like a wave of anxiety, dread, and panic hit me in the gut, and I drove home overwhelmed with this feeling that I had ruined everything, that I failed in trying to see and be there for them (like I tried too hard). It felt like I didn’t do/say what God wanted, like I failed Him, and it was so strong I felt like nothing mattered.

When I got home I prayed for peace, and begged God to make things right. Then a subtle feeling to call my Mom came—the first “normal” and calm thought. I called her (she said literally perfect timing) and we talked. She let me speak out what happened, then asked questions to help me see the difference between what I knew God’s peace felt like (even when I make mistakes) vs. this dread that gave no hope at all. The moment I hung up the phone, there was a noticeable drop in the anxiety and dread. I still felt some, but now it was me recognizing it for what it was.

Later I learned things were ok, and it was like a confirmation that God was there guiding me to who could help. Still learning, but that simple contrast between subtle peace from God and overwhelming panic from anxiety taught me a lot, and helped me tell His voice apart from all the fear and panic.