"Hold Onto Him"

For the last several years, we have experienced a death in the family on every odd-numbered year. First it was my uncle, very unexpectedly. The next odd-numbered year, my cousin took his own life. Next, my grandpa passed away after several months of painful cancer. The next odd-numbered year, I found out at a pregnancy checkup that my baby had had a twin who didn’t survive past eight weeks.

Each of these experiences brought devastating heartache and unanswered questions. I prayed over and over for understanding and answers. Instead, I got peace. The Lord asked me to hold onto my questions with one hand and then hold onto Him with the other. He promised answers and understanding eventually, but in the meantime, He would give me peace and strength to keep moving. As I’ve held onto my Savior, He has given me some pieces of answers to my questions. Not all of them, but enough to help make my burden a little lighter. And He has given me His strength to carry heavy things. But most of all, I have found peace. He has calmed my heart time and time again.

I just started another odd-numbered year. I know I shouldn’t put much stock in the idea that odd-numbered years are cursed or something. But I still felt anxious. What will this year bring? Once again, peace. Peace has filled my heart as my Savior has gently reminded me of all the tender mercies and miracles that have happened even when things were difficult. He is once again asking me to hold His hand. So I’m going to hold on as tightly as I can and lean on His strength through whatever may come.