"Help Me Understand This"

I’ve found that going on walks to meditate, ponder and pray has been a very fulfilling habit. Recently I had one outing that stood out to me because it, at the start, didn’t seem like it was going to be a good walk.

The day seemed to be a particularly sad one. Nothing out of the ordinary really happened, but I just felt discouraged and unsure what to do. I felt unsure of many things, honestly. I went on a walk hoping it would immediately clear up my mind, but it did not. Anxiety told me I should get back home and get back to work, but I really wanted to be out. I wanted so much for those clear answers on what to do. I prayed for guidance, but didn’t feel anything at first. I kept walking, deciding that I wasn’t going to listen to anxiety tonight. Slowly my prayers turned from “what should I do?” to “please, help me understand this…” (meaning my feelings and troubles). When my prayer changed to that, I felt close to God. I can’t really use any other words to describe it. It was like I could feel Him walking with me and the power & warmth of his presence. I let my mind wonder, process, and pray, and I felt certain understandings come. The understanding led to me coming up with something I should look into that might help me. This new path to investigate felt good, and I believe that the Lord guided me to this by helping me understand and process my situation.

The whole experience was beautiful and emotionally powerful and I could not help but cry as I walked. I’m very grateful for Jesus Christ and His patience and love for me!